You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
