16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
