I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
