Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
