Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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