i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
