I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
