we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
