the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
