Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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