took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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