She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
