umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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