I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You are a genius and a whore.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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