I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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