nut hugger
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just google imaged poop.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
