come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
