My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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