Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
