Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
