..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
