Nicole vs. Life
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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