All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
