U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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