did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
