My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Bring me that man meat
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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