Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
