"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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