You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
