FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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