Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
