brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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