he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
