HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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