Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
