i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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