Screwed.edu
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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