If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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