Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
