so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
