i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
vagina is talking i cant
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You were trust falling into bushes
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize