Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
