wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
