Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
