Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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