Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
