I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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