my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
