it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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