I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize