so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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