I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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