Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
