And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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