I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
