Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
