he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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