that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he thought i was a dude.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
